再来一个！！！
SPAGHETTI
A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti"on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin! .

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."

"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.
The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without."

Two ladies
There were 2 women, Linda, and Angie standing at the Pearly Gates of heaven, exchanging stories on how they died.

Linda said that she had a heart attack. Angie said that she froze to death.

Angie asked, "How did you manage to have a heart attack?"

Linda said, " Well it's a long story, but here is the short version. I suspected my husband was cheating on me so I went home to catch him in the act. When i got home, he was sitting on the couch by himself."

"I ran upstairs to check all the closets and under the beds and everything. I looked everywhere! I didn't see anyone upstairs, so I went downstairs and checked all the closets, and cabinets and I didn't see anybody."

"After all that running around and excitement, I guess my heart just gave out."

Angie said, Well if you would have looked in the freezer first, we would both still be alive!!!"