Reply From Agony Uncle
TAKING A BREAK CONTRACT

WITNESSETH:
THAT WHEREAS, the lovers had a successful run of dinner dates and make-out sessions, and thereafter the parties began a monogamous relationship, but now wandering eyes, boredom and seven month itches have rendered it undesirable to dating exclusively, by reason whereof they have decided to take a Break and are hereby temporarily separated as of ----; and
WHEREAS, there were no children born out of wedlock during the relationship; and
WHEREAS, they desire to confirm this Break and to make arrangements in connection therewith, including the temporary suspension of monogamous obligations, nightly check-ins and dog walking favors; and
WHEREAS, having had the opportunity to seek legal counsel and the advice of a married confidant, each lover considers this Contract to be fair and reasonable, until such time as jealousy or revived passion prompts a reunion, or both lovers have found suitable replacement mates or devices and wish to terminate this relationship; and
NOW THEREFORE, in consideration of the mutual promises and undertakings herein contained X day of X 2011, by and between Lu , lover of the first part ('Boyfriend") and Zhou lover of the second part ("Girlfriend"), the parties do hereby stipulate, agree and covenant as follows:
1. TIME PERIOD. The Break shall run for a period of three weeks from the signing of this Contract. At that point, the parties shall meet to discuss the relationship's status. Each party may ask for one two-week adjournment , but after a total of nine weeks from the date of the signing of this Contract, time is of the essence and a Final Decision (reconciliation or breakup) must be made within 48 hours.
2. INTERFERENCE. Boyfriend and Girlfriend each shall be free from interference, restraint, authority, and control the other, as fully as if he or she were single and unmarried. Neither party hereto shall hereafter disturb, annoy, molest, harass, or in any way interfere with the other;s daily whereabouts or nightly entertainment. Calls and text from 10am to 7pm (the "Safe Period') will be courteously answered, but communications outside the Safe Period will be answered at the other's discretion.
3.SEXUAL RELATIONS . Unless otherwise agreed to as a Non-Riding Rider (an extra "all flings prohibited" clause) to this Contract , safe sexual relations with Eligible Partners are limited to one (1) new encounter per Break. Eligible Partners shall not include young hussies/studs, mutual friends, coworkers , or any personal trainers who fermented jealousy during the relationship. Relations between the parties (Mid-Break Sex") are permitted and shall be considered "For Pleasures Only" and do not in any way affect the rights, timing, or obligations under the Contract, nor terminate this Contract.
4. AMENDMENTS. Neither this Contract nor any provision hereof may be changed, amended, waived, discharged, or terminated orally or while in the blissful afterglow following Mid-Break Sex but only by an instrument in writing, signed by both parties.
5. PUBLICITY. Prior to and during the Break, the Parties shall consult with each other prior to posting any social media announcements or changing electronic relationship status or otherwise making public statements with respect to the Break except to close friends and Eligible Partners on a need-to-know basis.
6. DISPUTES. This Contract shall be governed by the laws of the State of Good Taste and any disputes arising from this Break shall be heard only in the Court of Love wherein friendly public opinion, noisy sister's judgments, and guys' night wisdom are admissible as evidence.
7. TERMINATION. Within forty eight hours of any positive reconciliation, the party who moved for a Break ("Movant") is obligated to furnish a romantic evening of woo ('Reconciliation Repast"), with all the trappings to which the other was accustomed during the 1st month of courtship. The Movant is solely responsible for costs and fees associated with the Reconciliation Repast, including bistro tabs, concert tickets, and hotel rates. If a breakup is negotiated, both parties shall attempt civility.
8. ENTIRE UNDERSTANDING. Each party hereby stipulates that have read the entire Contract and sign the Contract with complete and full understanding of its contents and meaning. The parties further acknowledge and agree that this is the entire understanding of the parties with regard to the subject matter hereof and that there are no other agreements related thereto, including any over-sized oral promises made during romantic getaways or admission made to the other's best friend under the cursed influence of alcohol.


Signed xx
Signed xxx